We know that whatever you think, you bring about...and...you can't love anyone if you don't love yourself. However, we have a difficult time controlling what and how we think and it is hard for people to find the voice of guidance within.
The books below written by consciousness author, therapist, doctor and spiritual teacher David Hawkins, MD, PhD are a good place to begin your journey to listen to the voice within. And a good place to help you allow your perceptions to evolve is to find yourself a professional to guide you in your self development efforts.
Spiritual breakthroughs in consciousness and choice happen in phases according to Hawkins. "You could say, in general, [that] you transcend the various levels. Each one is preparatory and opens the way to the next level. You go through a state of universal lovingness, in which you break into tears all the time. You go into a state of joy and ecstasy, and in those states you can't function. Once the ecstasy subsides, the divinity of the presence of infinite timeless peace shines forth. In that state, you need nothing from the world, nor does life need to go--it makes no difference. But then comes love, and love says, 'Yes, but you would be short-circuiting the purpose of being here.' So love returns and continues the conversation."
"The butterfly flies because that is what a butterfly does, but it doesn't sing a song. Conversation is our being what we are: talkingness. The questions you are asking are already happening on their own, and you become aware of 'Oh, I just asked that' 1/10,000 of a second after the phenomenon. With full enlightenment, that 1/10,000 of a second disappears, and suddenly you are transformed into a different dimension of existence. The delay between a that and a me disappears, and that which you are is all there is."
The Law of Attraction and its DVD The Secret is about what you hold in your mind tends to materialize. However, Hawkins' model for attractor fields is a different concept.
"'Attractor field,' as I use it, is a term from nonlinear dynamics. It is an energy field. You are attracted to your own energy field, that which you resonate with, that which you have become. The Law of Attraction is not a law; it is just an observation. What you hold in your mind tends to materialize [a certain thing] in your life because you are holding the pattern of it and naturally identifying with that pattern."
"Wanting it tends to keep it away. You don't picture wanting a Cadillac; you picture yourself having a Cadillac and being in a Cadillac and being joyful in it and appreciating it."
How a Teacher or Coach Can Help You Breakthrough
Hawkins says, "The teacher brings knowingness and the energy field of that knowingness, without which a student would not be able to reach it on their own. It's really an energy transmission, classically call silent transmission, which is a high-energy vibration and aura. So although we are paying attention to what is being said, what's really happening is that the energy field has become yours and is accessible to you by your agreement. Nobody forces it."
"So each knowingness with your assent would then become 'Aha!' What the teacher gives you is the absolute certainty of that knowingness. Others can give you the information, but they cannot give you the power of certainty that makes it work for you. The energy field has to be of absolute certainty; it can't be just something nice you read out of a book."
You can't be a good teacher or coach until you have really experienced and moved through the higher states...."because you have to experience the reality of it. How could you teach what you don't actually know?"
Source: SHIFT: AT THE FRONTIERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS, Winter 2008-2009