When we are talking, we are selling.
Robert Louis Stevenson said, "Everyone lives by selling something." And I have spent my life selling as a sales representative, marketing specialist, marketing education specialist, general sales manager, general manager, vice president of marketing, management consultant, president and CEO. I expect that you have always sold something to live, as well.
Selling, at its best, is "helping" others.
How we help others matters. When we reduce the talking and increase the listening and observing, we are able to become more aware of what's really important to people. Knowing how to read people - picking up on and interpreting their hidden cues - is a critical asset for success in our personal and work lives.
Studies show that the brain processes four primary codes of communication. Two of these (speech and vocal codes) are processed auditorily, while the other two (facial expression and body language) are processed visually. When assessing people, we must interpret all four codes of communication - observing how they move, how they comport themselves, how they sound, and what they say.
The body language code (the combination of movement, gestures, and mannerisms) communicates a lot about people - such as: are they lying or telling the truth, do they like you, and do they actually mean what they are saying.
For example, people who lean in towards you are showing that they are interested in you and what you have to say. This is also the case if someone copies your body language (e.g. crossing legs in unison, clasping fingers, etc.). People who feel powerful and confident usually take up more physical space while people that stand too far away are being arrogant, snobby, or simply showing that they don't like you.
As you improve your ability to read people, you will know much more about those you deal with and make better decisions on how to approach them to sell what allows you to live your life.
Source: "I Know What You're Thinking" by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.