Playing a role in our own rescue is the ultimate key. Sometimes it's as simple as having access to reminders.
I was able to succeed at work while going through a divorce and raising a wonderful boy and my friend felt that my story would inspire other women to realize their potential if they just went after it.
Once I decided to make the book my priority, all of my excuses disappeared.
When it came time to execute, I faced a difference set of challenges. I was completely overwhelmed because the task felt massive. The first thing I did was watch an online tutorial on how to write a book.
Opening up was difficult. Many times since I've started writing, I've thought about what the haters were going to say. As with so many things in life, facing fear is the real challenge. The fear of what others will think or say. The fear of hurting those close to me. The fear of failure.
I hope that you find something in this book that can help you as much as the experience helped me. If I can teach just one person how to build their confidence and realize they are not alone when struggling through life, then this was all worth it. I wish you all the best of luck.
Author Heather Monahan
Confidence Creator: ISBN 9781544500737 in Paperback and 9781544500744 in Ebook.
After working with women for over 40 years, Algeania Warren Freeman, Ph.D. noticed that too often women feel unworthy, not good enough, and less than able to accomplish their life desires. Dr. Freeman felt compelled to write, "Step Up Sister"to encourage women to never give up, no matter how tough life's challenges may be.
"Step Up Sister" is a workbook with a personal journal for women who no longer want to be stymied by limitations in life as it reminds them of who they are and shares tips for how they can make positive life changes. Along with biblical scripture, the book provides exercises that women can put into practice, which encourages self-love and self-realization.
In answering the question of "Who are You?" women must start to search their inner beings. It is far better to answer the question to accentuating the positive rather than speaking the negative. In life, if a woman does not speak, think, perceive or believe that she is special, who will be able to convince her of her unique qualities?
“By understanding myself, to understand others: I want to be all that I am capable of becoming.” Katherine Mansfield
Let’s face it: you are the most interesting and important subject in the entire world. You will always be at or near the center of your world. It’s a comfortable place to be! So, one of the most exciting—and, often, one of the most intimidating—experiences lies in gaining a fuller understanding of just who you are.
Life is a perpetual process of becoming. To truly understand ourselves, we need to understand how we view ourselves, how others view us, and how we truly interact with others, not how we think we interact. Self-understanding means knowing what we need and how we desire to grow. It starts with two simple questions:
Do I like who I am?
Am I happy with the person I am becoming?
To answer honestly, we need to have crystal-clear insight into the person who bears our name and Social Security number.
We consciously as well as unconsciously create our own reality through our thoughts (what we tell ourselves), our emotions (how we feel), and our behaviors (how we act). If we are to become self-aware, we must be able to understand our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Our ability to live the life we desire will depend on our level of self awareness, the thoughts we think, the choices we make, and the behavior we display.
Sociologists tell us that human beings see two ways: First, with our eyesight; secondly, with our minds (this is called insight). We know what we see in the mirror. Insight is a little more challenging. Insight takes into consideration what makes us unique. If we are truly courageous, we will do a little research and take a good look at how our attitudes and actions are perceived by others.
Remember, attitude is always reflected in our behavior toward others. We won’t be remembered by others for our determination or our dedication. We will be remembered by the way we made other people feel about themselves.
Since our entire lives are controlled by our attitudes, we must recognize the fact that our perceptions are involved in everything we think and do. A person cannot think negatively about another person and then feel good about their relationship. So, if we want successful relationships and successful lives, it is our responsibility to control what goes on in our minds. We need to monitor our “mind chatter” and alter our internal storytelling when it’s necessary. Napoleon Hill was right when he said, “Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don’t want.”
Self-awareness requires us to recognize our personal energy fluctuations because they determine how we respond physically and mentally. Some of us tend to get shrill and whine when we’re tired. Others shut down and withdraw into silence. We each have different patterns, so we each need to recognize our own individual responses. Although subtle, managing our energy peaks and lows is a creative way to become more effective. Others will know if we face a situation that is difficult or irritating, and they will reward or condemn us for our response. For instance:
One writer we know took her daughter to the mall at the end of a very long and frustrating day. The clerks were struggling to fix the cash machine and the check-out line grew longer and longer, the clock seemed to tick faster and faster, and our friend’s patience grew very thin. When she finally reached the counter, only to discover the machine had broken down once again, she opened her mouth to say something withering. Fortunately, before she had a chance to unload her frustration, the clerk asked her if she was an author. She looked surprised and nodded.
“You were so nice—you signed six of your books for my kids,” the clerk said, smiling. “They love your books.”
Our friend smiled back and left the store vowing never to get irritable or short-tempered in public again. “You never know where you’ll meet someone who will recognize you,” she pointed out when she confessed that story. “I’m fifty years old and I’m still learning valuable lessons about life.”
It’s important to remind ourselves that we will be judged, for good or ill, based on our behavior. One simple way to make things easier for us is to plan our schedule so we interact with others when we are at our peak in energy—our writer friend probably should have scheduled a shopping trip with her daughter on another day.
Therein lies one important secret to maintaining successful relationships: energy management.
Energy management means playing to our strengths, recognizing when we’re capable of doing our best, and using those times productively. We need to learn and abide by a vital lesson: Don’t allow unimportant activities to swallow up our best working hours—we need to budget them, allocate them, and dedicate them for the important things.
Most of us spend our high-energy times dealing with the things that might be urgent, but may not be important. We finish the easy things on our “To Do” list because it feels good to cross off a long line of items. But the things we’re crossing off may not be the things that will help us achieve our goals. We need to keep those goals in mind constantly. When we allow interruptions during our peak times and when we procrastinate—leaving the big jobs until we are under a time crunch—we are showing the classic signs of poor time management. And when that happens, it’s almost guaranteed that unexpected events will pop up and wreak havoc with our schedule and our stress levels.
Many of us have suffered from a chronic case of under-planning and over-scheduling at one time or another.
Some of us are experts at it! Despite our optimism and experience, “To Do” list items almost always take longer to complete than we anticipate. So, if we wait too long to tackle the important jobs, we find ourselves burning the midnight oil, neglecting a pleasurable activity we’d been anticipating, or losing time with a friend or family member. And then we wonder why we feel stressed!
The solution is simple. We need to study our peak performance periods and make the best use of them.
These blocks of time need to be set aside for our biggest and most important tasks. This is the time when we feel energetic and refreshed, most capable of focusing on those things that are most important or require our undivided attention. Most of us will have at least two of these peak periods during the day. Many of us know if we’re morning people or night people, but sometimes we don’t stop to identify our two (or three!) most productive high-energy times.
We also need to identify our low-performance or less-than-peak- performance periods. These are the blocks of time when we plan to do activities that don’t require much focus or energy such as answering emails, returning phone calls, scheduling routine meetings, talking about staff issues, etc.
In order to perform at our best, we all need to re-energize and re-charge our batteries on a regular basis, not just during vacations and national holidays. Many people use early mornings, late afternoons, or early evenings to catch their breath, take a break, meditate, pray, think, or otherwise plan. These are also ideal times to spend with the family, reading, listening to music, watching TV, or enjoying exercise or a hobby.
Travel days offer golden opportunities to re-energize. Don’t waste the hours waiting in an airport lobby or driving a car. Use those times to think, plan, jot down ideas, read a good book, or catch up with someone or something. When we do, we find ourselves feeling prepared, fit, and rested for the meeting or event that arrives at the end of the trip. Often we can do our best creative thinking when we capture “loose” time and tame it.
For many female employees, working in a male-dominated jungle, can be frustrating.
Gender-based stereotypes seem to pigeonhole women, holding them back from pay increases, promotions and mobility. Finance professional Tamara Lashchyk gives women the inside track to getting ahead, sharing her go-to tips and career insight with her new book, "Lose the Gum: A Survival Guide for Women on Wall Street."
"I've watched as dozens of young women sabotage their own careers and shut themselves out of opportunities," Lashchyk said. "As a result, few women succeed. One thing that stands in the way of female success, on an individual and collective basis, is ourselves."
In the competitive environment of business world, what differentiates you from others is your brand. The value of your brand is determined by the credibility that you've established through consistent behaviors over time. When properly managed, your brand is an asset, which can open doors of opportunity and pave the way to a successful career.
More than fifty years after the start of the modern Women's Movement, women in the United States are still not "making it" in traditional male careers.
Women start their careers in numbers comparable to men but as they move up the career ladder, they are severely underrepresented at every level, with the disparity greatest at the most senior levels.
Your Attitudes Matter
As a woman seeks career advancement, she should have two basic objectives: first, to be noticed as someone who is competent, confident, and capable of handling tasks and situations expected of positions senior to the one she now holds.
The second objective is to prevent her competence, confidence, and capability from being seen as characteristic of a pushy, unpleasant, and socially insensitive woman who is violating traditional gender stereotypes.
There is an obvious tension in these objectives, for it is hard to get yourself noticed as a leader without also being noticed as a woman who is not conforming to gender stereotypes. This tension is one of the primary reasons achieving a full measure of career success is so problematic for so many women.
By writing together, Andie and Al are able to offer the unique dual perspective on critical issues. While their advice is specifically addressed to talented, ambitious women, it is also aimed at men--particularly men in senior leadership positions who are in a position to help.
Divided into four parts,BREAKING THROUGH BIAS, first lays out the common gender stereotypes that both men and women have; addresses the conversations women have and need to have with themselves; details how to communicate to convey confidence, competence, and social sensitivity; and finally, specific tips to communicating in different situations.
There is a scarcity of women in top leadership within Corporate America.
Despite years of progress in the workforce, only 6% of women hold titles of chairman, president, chief executive officer and chief operating officer in Fortune 500 companies...and...only 15% of the seats on the boards of directors are held by women.
Resistance to Women's Leadership
Study after study has affirmed that people associate women and men with different traits and link men with more of the traits that connote leadership. Many female leaders struggle to reconcile qualities people prefer in women (compassion for others) with qualities people think leaders need to succeed (assertion and control).
Kim Campbell, who briefly served as the prime minister of Canada in 1993, described the tension that results:
"I don't have a traditionally female way of speaking...I'm quite assertive. If I didn't speak the way I do, I wouldn't have been seen as a leader. But my way of speaking may have grated on people who were not used to hearing it from a woman. It was the right way for a leader to speak, but it wasn't the right way for a woman to speak. It goes against type."
People view successful female managers as more deceitful, pushy, selfish, and abrasive than successful male managers. Men are associated with qualities which convey assertion and control. They include being especially aggressive, ambitious, dominant, self-confident, and forceful, as well as self-reliant and individualistic. These traits are also associated in most people's minds with effective leadership--perhaps because a long history of male domination of leadership roles has made it difficult to separate the leader associations from the male associations. As a result, women leaders find themselves in a bind.
Studies have gauged reactions to men and women engaging in various types of dominant behavior. The findings are quite consistent. Verbally intimidating others can undermine a woman's influence, and assertive behavior can reduce her chances of getting a job or advancing in her career. Simply disagreeing can sometimes get women into trouble. Men who disagree or otherwise act dominant get away with it more often than women do. Men can use bluster to get themselves noticed but modesty is expected even of highly accomplished women.
It all amounts to a clash of leadership assumptions when the average person confronts a woman in management. Female leaders often struggle to cultivate an appropriate and effective leadership style--one that reconciles qualities people prefer in women with the qualities people think leaders need to succeed. In the words of a female leader, "I think that there is a real penalty for a woman who behaves like a man. The men don't like her and the women don't either."
Women leaders worry a lot about these things....because leaders must establish themselves as role models by gaining followers' trust and confidence. They state future goals, and innovate, even when their organizations are generally successful. Such leaders mentor and empower followers, encouraging them to develop their full potential and thus to contribute more effectively to their organizations. Such leaders manage to clarify subordinates' responsibilities, rewarding them for meeting objectives, and correcting them for failing to meet objectives. This takes a lot of face time on-the-job and off-the-job.
Building Relationships and Social Capital
In contrast, women are still the ones who interrupt their careers to handle work/family trade-offs. Overloaded, they lack time to engage in the social networking essential to advancement. Perhaps, the most destructive result of the work/family balancing act is that it leaves very little time for socializing with colleagues and building professional networks.
The social capital that accrues from such "nonessential" parts of work turns out to be quite essential indeed. One study yielded the following description of managers who advanced rapidly in hierarchies: Fast-track managers "spent relatively more time and effort socializing, politicking, and interacting with outsiders than did their less successful counterparts...[and]...did not give much time or attention to the traditional management activities of planning, decision making, and controlling or to the human resource management activities of motivating/reinforcing, staffing, training/developing, and managing conflict." This suggests that social capital is even more necessary to managers' advancement than skillful performance of traditional managerial tasks.
The call of family responsibilities is mainly to blame for women's underinvestment in networking. When time is scarce, this social activity is the first thing to go by the wayside. Women can gain from strong and supportive mentoring and coaching relationships and connections with powerful networks. When a well-placed individual who possesses greater legitimacy (often a man) takes an interest in a woman's career, her efforts to build social capital can proceed far more efficiently.
"As they become globally integrated, companies are becoming more diverse and inclusive, eliminating barriers for women and minorities and accommodating cultural differences. These companies understand that to succeed their work force needs to be as diverse as their customers. Over the past 10 years, IBM has seen a 393 percent increase in the number of its women executives."
Emily Benner, development director of IBM Systems and Technology Group, is active in mentoring IBM employees and students within the community, and is a board member of the Rochester (MN) Convention and Visitors Bureau.
Sources: 1. Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership by Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli in the Harvard Business Review, September 2007 2. "Math, science mentors build future economy" by Emily Benner in the Post-Bulletin, Rochester, MN 2/19/2008
Perhaps, you know of women managers, where you work or within your personal network, that are ready to start doing things slightly different in order to achieve the success they deserve.
Did you know: >> Only 38% of married women think their hubby is sexy, while 57% of husbands say the same about their wives.
To conduct the NationalToday.com Spouses Day Survey, the pollsters at National Today [www.nationaltoday.com] — America's favorite online destination to celebrate quirky and fun holidays — asked 1,035 married Americans to dish on their spouses.
(survey of 1,035 Americans, conducted Jan. 23, 2017)
>> TOP 5 THINGS THAT ANNOY US ABOUT OUR SPOUSES #1: My spouse has selective listening (40%) #2: My spouse snores (39%) #3: My spouse can be a control freak sometimes (26%) #4: My spouse is not as financially responsible as I am (20%) #5: My spouse has bodily quirks (e.g. nose picking, farting, burping, etc.) (19%)
>> TOP 5 REASONS AMERICANS APPRECIATE THEIR SPOUSES
#1: My spouse is a hard worker (60%) #2: I can be myself around my spouse (56%) #3: My spouse makes me laugh (56%) #4: My spouse is smart (52%) #5: My spouse is supportive of my goals and desires (48%)
TOP 5 MOST SURPRISING SPOUSE INSIGHTS
#1: I love my spouse, but sometimes I wish I were single so I could experience dating again (10%)
#2: My spouse gets on my nerves sometimes (44%) #3: I wear the pants in the relationship with my spouse (13%) #4: Between the two of us, I'm better-looking than my spouse (9%) #5: My spouse is a slob (e.g. doesn't wash dishes, leaves dirty clothes on floor, etc.) (17%)
>> HUSBANDS THINK THEY'RE MORE HELPFUL THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE While 44% of husbands say they evenly split the household chores with their wives, only 26% of wives say the same. Whose version of reality is true?!
Perhaps, you know of women, where you work or within your personal network, that are ready to start doing things slightly different in order to achieve the success and happiness they deserve.
In the 1980s, the day wasn't over for career women until the sheer, nude-colored pantyhose was off.
Today, there is a generation gap between women who remember a time when stockings and pumps were required workplace attire and women in the 20-to-35-year-old range who show greater interest in alternatives like leggings, tights, trouser socks and even thigh high hosiery.
The casualization of the workplace and a 24/7 mentality have given women more options as to what they wear and less options as to the hours they are available for office communication. "The traditional waist-high pantyhose garment thrived in the 1980s, it was at a peak," said Sally Kay, president and chief executive of the Hosiery Association, a Charlotte-based trade organization. "But with the onset of the Internet in the '90s, and the ability to work from home, that's when we start to see sales decline."
"Pantyhose feels frumpy and old to younger generations," said Clare Sauro, assistant curator of accessories of The Museum at New York's Fashion Institute of Technology. "Plus, if you've never worn pantyhose, you don't think to wear them now."
Source: The Associated Press
Perhaps, you know of women managers, where you work or within your personal network, that are ready to start doing things slightly different in order to achieve the success they deserve.
It is all well and good to be told to lean in, but in reality, nearly two-third of Americans believe that women continue to face barriers to career advancement, and statistics show that more than 75% of millennial women identify gender bias as a workplace problem.
On the flipside, women ran 4.2% of companies in the Standard & Poor's 500 Index as of December 2015. While these women encountered a variety of setbacks in their career, their challenges often provided useful leadership lessons that helped propel their ascent and success.
Drawing on interviews with present or former female CEOs of Hewlett-Packard, Hearst Magazine, Avon, Sara Lee, Campbell Soup, Ogilvy & Mather, and many other companies, EARNING IT author Joann Lublin gleans important lessons from these women's trailblazing business achievements. Their experiences offer a road map that will enable other women to find their way when it comes to launching their career.
Women keen to get ahead must learn to manage men well, especially those who don't want to be managed by women.
Nowadays, executive women managers rarely face openly hostile resistance from their male deputies. Yet, their career progress continues to be slowed as a result of less obvious sex-role stereotypes, which "manifest themselves in all kinds of subtle and not-so-subtle ways," says Robin J. Ely, a Harvard Business School professor who specializes in gender issues.
Using street smarts, a sense of humor, strong belief in themselves, and empathetic ability to walk in their employee's shoes, the women who share their wisdom in EARNING IT crafted innovative approaches that helped them win at work.
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Despite years of progress in the workforce,
