After working with women for over 40 years, Algeania Warren Freeman, Ph.D. noticed that too often women feel unworthy, not good enough, and less than able to accomplish their life desires. Dr. Freeman felt compelled to write, "Step Up Sister"to encourage women to never give up, no matter how tough life's challenges may be.
"Step Up Sister" is a workbook with a personal journal for women who no longer want to be stymied by limitations in life as it reminds them of who they are and shares tips for how they can make positive life changes. Along with biblical scripture, the book provides exercises that women can put into practice, which encourages self-love and self-realization.
In answering the question of "Who are You?" women must start to search their inner beings. It is far better to answer the question to accentuating the positive rather than speaking the negative. In life, if a woman does not speak, think, perceive or believe that she is special, who will be able to convince her of her unique qualities?
“By understanding myself, to understand others: I want to be all that I am capable of becoming.” Katherine Mansfield
Let’s face it: you are the most interesting and important subject in the entire world. You will always be at or near the center of your world. It’s a comfortable place to be! So, one of the most exciting—and, often, one of the most intimidating—experiences lies in gaining a fuller understanding of just who you are.
Life is a perpetual process of becoming. To truly understand ourselves, we need to understand how we view ourselves, how others view us, and how we truly interact with others, not how we think we interact. Self-understanding means knowing what we need and how we desire to grow. It starts with two simple questions:
Do I like who I am?
Am I happy with the person I am becoming?
To answer honestly, we need to have crystal-clear insight into the person who bears our name and Social Security number.
We consciously as well as unconsciously create our own reality through our thoughts (what we tell ourselves), our emotions (how we feel), and our behaviors (how we act). If we are to become self-aware, we must be able to understand our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Our ability to live the life we desire will depend on our level of self awareness, the thoughts we think, the choices we make, and the behavior we display.
Sociologists tell us that human beings see two ways: First, with our eyesight; secondly, with our minds (this is called insight). We know what we see in the mirror. Insight is a little more challenging. Insight takes into consideration what makes us unique. If we are truly courageous, we will do a little research and take a good look at how our attitudes and actions are perceived by others.
Remember, attitude is always reflected in our behavior toward others. We won’t be remembered by others for our determination or our dedication. We will be remembered by the way we made other people feel about themselves.
Since our entire lives are controlled by our attitudes, we must recognize the fact that our perceptions are involved in everything we think and do. A person cannot think negatively about another person and then feel good about their relationship. So, if we want successful relationships and successful lives, it is our responsibility to control what goes on in our minds. We need to monitor our “mind chatter” and alter our internal storytelling when it’s necessary. Napoleon Hill was right when he said, “Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don’t want.”
Self-awareness requires us to recognize our personal energy fluctuations because they determine how we respond physically and mentally. Some of us tend to get shrill and whine when we’re tired. Others shut down and withdraw into silence. We each have different patterns, so we each need to recognize our own individual responses. Although subtle, managing our energy peaks and lows is a creative way to become more effective. Others will know if we face a situation that is difficult or irritating, and they will reward or condemn us for our response. For instance:
One writer we know took her daughter to the mall at the end of a very long and frustrating day. The clerks were struggling to fix the cash machine and the check-out line grew longer and longer, the clock seemed to tick faster and faster, and our friend’s patience grew very thin. When she finally reached the counter, only to discover the machine had broken down once again, she opened her mouth to say something withering. Fortunately, before she had a chance to unload her frustration, the clerk asked her if she was an author. She looked surprised and nodded.
“You were so nice—you signed six of your books for my kids,” the clerk said, smiling. “They love your books.”
Our friend smiled back and left the store vowing never to get irritable or short-tempered in public again. “You never know where you’ll meet someone who will recognize you,” she pointed out when she confessed that story. “I’m fifty years old and I’m still learning valuable lessons about life.”
It’s important to remind ourselves that we will be judged, for good or ill, based on our behavior. One simple way to make things easier for us is to plan our schedule so we interact with others when we are at our peak in energy—our writer friend probably should have scheduled a shopping trip with her daughter on another day.
Therein lies one important secret to maintaining successful relationships: energy management.
Energy management means playing to our strengths, recognizing when we’re capable of doing our best, and using those times productively. We need to learn and abide by a vital lesson: Don’t allow unimportant activities to swallow up our best working hours—we need to budget them, allocate them, and dedicate them for the important things.
Most of us spend our high-energy times dealing with the things that might be urgent, but may not be important. We finish the easy things on our “To Do” list because it feels good to cross off a long line of items. But the things we’re crossing off may not be the things that will help us achieve our goals. We need to keep those goals in mind constantly. When we allow interruptions during our peak times and when we procrastinate—leaving the big jobs until we are under a time crunch—we are showing the classic signs of poor time management. And when that happens, it’s almost guaranteed that unexpected events will pop up and wreak havoc with our schedule and our stress levels.
Many of us have suffered from a chronic case of under-planning and over-scheduling at one time or another.
Some of us are experts at it! Despite our optimism and experience, “To Do” list items almost always take longer to complete than we anticipate. So, if we wait too long to tackle the important jobs, we find ourselves burning the midnight oil, neglecting a pleasurable activity we’d been anticipating, or losing time with a friend or family member. And then we wonder why we feel stressed!
The solution is simple. We need to study our peak performance periods and make the best use of them.
These blocks of time need to be set aside for our biggest and most important tasks. This is the time when we feel energetic and refreshed, most capable of focusing on those things that are most important or require our undivided attention. Most of us will have at least two of these peak periods during the day. Many of us know if we’re morning people or night people, but sometimes we don’t stop to identify our two (or three!) most productive high-energy times.
We also need to identify our low-performance or less-than-peak- performance periods. These are the blocks of time when we plan to do activities that don’t require much focus or energy such as answering emails, returning phone calls, scheduling routine meetings, talking about staff issues, etc.
In order to perform at our best, we all need to re-energize and re-charge our batteries on a regular basis, not just during vacations and national holidays. Many people use early mornings, late afternoons, or early evenings to catch their breath, take a break, meditate, pray, think, or otherwise plan. These are also ideal times to spend with the family, reading, listening to music, watching TV, or enjoying exercise or a hobby.
Travel days offer golden opportunities to re-energize. Don’t waste the hours waiting in an airport lobby or driving a car. Use those times to think, plan, jot down ideas, read a good book, or catch up with someone or something. When we do, we find ourselves feeling prepared, fit, and rested for the meeting or event that arrives at the end of the trip. Often we can do our best creative thinking when we capture “loose” time and tame it.
For many female employees, working in a male-dominated jungle, can be frustrating.
Gender-based stereotypes seem to pigeonhole women, holding them back from pay increases, promotions and mobility. Finance professional Tamara Lashchyk gives women the inside track to getting ahead, sharing her go-to tips and career insight with her new book, "Lose the Gum: A Survival Guide for Women on Wall Street."
"I've watched as dozens of young women sabotage their own careers and shut themselves out of opportunities," Lashchyk said. "As a result, few women succeed. One thing that stands in the way of female success, on an individual and collective basis, is ourselves."
In the competitive environment of business world, what differentiates you from others is your brand. The value of your brand is determined by the credibility that you've established through consistent behaviors over time. When properly managed, your brand is an asset, which can open doors of opportunity and pave the way to a successful career.
More than fifty years after the start of the modern Women's Movement, women in the United States are still not "making it" in traditional male careers.
Women start their careers in numbers comparable to men but as they move up the career ladder, they are severely underrepresented at every level, with the disparity greatest at the most senior levels.
Your Attitudes Matter
As a woman seeks career advancement, she should have two basic objectives: first, to be noticed as someone who is competent, confident, and capable of handling tasks and situations expected of positions senior to the one she now holds.
The second objective is to prevent her competence, confidence, and capability from being seen as characteristic of a pushy, unpleasant, and socially insensitive woman who is violating traditional gender stereotypes.
There is an obvious tension in these objectives, for it is hard to get yourself noticed as a leader without also being noticed as a woman who is not conforming to gender stereotypes. This tension is one of the primary reasons achieving a full measure of career success is so problematic for so many women.
By writing together, Andie and Al are able to offer the unique dual perspective on critical issues. While their advice is specifically addressed to talented, ambitious women, it is also aimed at men--particularly men in senior leadership positions who are in a position to help.
Divided into four parts,BREAKING THROUGH BIAS, first lays out the common gender stereotypes that both men and women have; addresses the conversations women have and need to have with themselves; details how to communicate to convey confidence, competence, and social sensitivity; and finally, specific tips to communicating in different situations.
In the 1980s, the day wasn't over for career women until the sheer, nude-colored pantyhose was off.
Today, there is a generation gap between women who remember a time when stockings and pumps were required workplace attire and women in the 20-to-35-year-old range who show greater interest in alternatives like leggings, tights, trouser socks and even thigh high hosiery.
The casualization of the workplace and a 24/7 mentality have given women more options as to what they wear and less options as to the hours they are available for office communication. "The traditional waist-high pantyhose garment thrived in the 1980s, it was at a peak," said Sally Kay, president and chief executive of the Hosiery Association, a Charlotte-based trade organization. "But with the onset of the Internet in the '90s, and the ability to work from home, that's when we start to see sales decline."
"Pantyhose feels frumpy and old to younger generations," said Clare Sauro, assistant curator of accessories of The Museum at New York's Fashion Institute of Technology. "Plus, if you've never worn pantyhose, you don't think to wear them now."
Source: The Associated Press
Perhaps, you know of women managers, where you work or within your personal network, that are ready to start doing things slightly different in order to achieve the success they deserve.
It is all well and good to be told to lean in, but in reality, nearly two-third of Americans believe that women continue to face barriers to career advancement, and statistics show that more than 75% of millennial women identify gender bias as a workplace problem.
On the flipside, women ran 4.2% of companies in the Standard & Poor's 500 Index as of December 2015. While these women encountered a variety of setbacks in their career, their challenges often provided useful leadership lessons that helped propel their ascent and success.
Drawing on interviews with present or former female CEOs of Hewlett-Packard, Hearst Magazine, Avon, Sara Lee, Campbell Soup, Ogilvy & Mather, and many other companies, EARNING IT author Joann Lublin gleans important lessons from these women's trailblazing business achievements. Their experiences offer a road map that will enable other women to find their way when it comes to launching their career.
Women keen to get ahead must learn to manage men well, especially those who don't want to be managed by women.
Nowadays, executive women managers rarely face openly hostile resistance from their male deputies. Yet, their career progress continues to be slowed as a result of less obvious sex-role stereotypes, which "manifest themselves in all kinds of subtle and not-so-subtle ways," says Robin J. Ely, a Harvard Business School professor who specializes in gender issues.
Using street smarts, a sense of humor, strong belief in themselves, and empathetic ability to walk in their employee's shoes, the women who share their wisdom in EARNING IT crafted innovative approaches that helped them win at work.
Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult.
While assertiveness is focused on speaking up in a specific situation, our overall ability and willingness to communicate is influenced to a large part by our past relationship experiences, particularly those with our early caregivers. This emotional bond with another person is called an attachment.
Our early attachment relationships provide a template for future relationships. Though of course not guaranteed to dictate behavior, this template guides how we see ourselves, how much we trust others, what strategies we use to manage our emotions, and how confident we are in sharing ourselves. Our attachment style influences our comfort level and skill level when it comes to being assertive.
When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction.
But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways.
People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.
Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, become avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, “The Assertiveness Guide for Women,” will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.
Mentoring and Sponsoring are compelling in the context of the new economy because they are consistently effective in helping women get ahead.
This is true regardless of participants’ specific objectives, industries, or roles.
What is Mentoring?
Mentoring is a relationship between the mentor and the mentee based on mutual respect, total confidentiality, and a shared understanding of how to achieve the mentee’s objectives.
Mentoring can occur naturally, informally or formally. It can be a formal part if a program within a professional organization or an informal relationship.
It can last a day, several weeks, just long enough to help an individual over a “hump,” or it can last several years. We usually encourage our coaching clients to seek out several mentors over the course of their career.
Corporate sponsored mentoring is sometimes used to achieve strategic business goals, such as retaining new employees and/or for leadership succession planning.
A mentor could be a highly visible and experienced company executive advising a rising star. Although a senior manager may be helpful to your career, working with someone from outside your organization, who is not invested in organizational politics, can ensure that conversations, concerns, and issues are kept in strict confidence. An experienced executive/business coach will also offer an objective view from the outside looking in.
All career-minded individuals can benefit from a mentor. However, be sure to respect their time and confidentiality. And be prepared for your conversations. Arrive ready to discuss issues that are most important to you. Meeting with a mentor six times a year for approximately and hour or so would be appropriate. You might also ask if impromptu phone calls would be welcomed.
Sponsoring is a step beyond mentoring.
It’s mentoring taken to the next level: the sponsor champions the mentee, suggests and supports their promotions, puts them forward for positions of responsibility and, especially for entrepreneurs, opens doors, acts as a reference, uses their networks to create opportunities and then supports them to take these opportunities.
The benefits of mentoring and sponsoring are tangible. 70% of small businesses receiving mentoring or sponsoring survive more than five years---double the survival rate of non-mentored businesses.
Kaya Singer, author of the book “Wiser and Wilder,” says that success comes to those who focus on being authentic, in the right circle of people, in a balanced and actualized way, with a strong voice.
Her new book is designed to help people ready to walk a soulful path and that manifests their vision with the right people. “Finding your tribe is perhaps one of the most important steps to focus on in business,” she says.
Your tribe is made up of all the people who love your business, products, services, and you. It’s your fans, current and potential customers and clients, and your colleagues. They enjoy hearing what you’re up to, and they spread the word to others about your business. It’s just as true now as it has been down through the ages: women thrive in circles with other women.
Here are seven important key ways to grow your tribe:
Search for Women’s Networking Groups and Business Clubs in your local area.
Do online searches through the social media channels.
Tap in and take advantage of your own networks.
Set up coffee or tea dates with women you meet and feel a connection toward.
Start your own Meet Up group and invite people to come.
Go to a local tea shop or café with your lap top and work from there.
Build a community on social media.
Join groups on social media.
Start your own small Mastermind Group.
Look for ways you can promote others.
Connecting with supportive people not only helps build your business, but it builds real community, plus it helps you to grow personally as an individual; this is particularly helpful if you tend to be more introverted.
Many of today’s up-and-coming, eager professionals are articulate, talented, well-educated and technologically savvy, but many of them are also unaware of the nuances to manage their career and may become labeled as obtuse. They simply lack the political perception and professional skills to get ahead.
Author Jena Abernathy is a passionate advocate for women in executive and governing board roles. Inspiring, down to earth, and straight talking, “THE INEQUALITY EQUALIZER” is the mentoring guide that most of us will wish we had read a long time ago, much earlier in our careers. Abernathy shares her practical, proven real-world techniques to strategize your career, and gain the confidence, know-how, and respect to get results, make winning impressions, and build long-lasting success.
Regardless of how much we might like to think that everyone believes that men and women are equal, the truth is that every woman will face a variety of gender issues throughout her career. Among those challenges is simply getting to the top spot. We see this every day when we witness the dearth of women in leadership positions.
As women, we have to get down to brass tacks and claim what we want. We can’t be afraid of a desire to get ahead, of ambition, or of success.
Maybe it does mean that we have to work harder in general or even harder than men. Resolving gender bias won’t mean that we as women suddenly get to work less hard in order to succeed in business. We’ll still have to work hard and over-deliver, and so will men.
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