I would guess not much of what used to work for you is working now and that a new approach is needed. There is a lot of pain in your life.
Fortunately, you have options. So don't turn away from your pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it--but don't think about it. You're going to be okay. It will all work out. Many others have walked this path and have done just fine.
Challenge your pre-conceptions. Get your ego out of this process. Do what you truly love to do. Determine what you don't want. The goal is to become what you are meant to be, the vision of your Higher Power. Understand you are unique, an attractive mystery to others. Dare to dream. Dare to imagine. Dare to Think Anew.
Most of us will never have any trouble putting energy into any venture, if we really want it. Many of us will experience great difficulty in letting go. Here is where you find out how much you truly do believe.
We get what we think about, whether we want it or not. What presents to us as problems are simply the result of our daily choices. Our choices are the direct result of our beliefs, and our beliefs respond to evidence.
The only mistake any of us make is the one we do not learn from. The truth is, we need to find out absolutely about what we don't want, before we can discover, and focus upon what we do want.
Where there is love, there is no labor. When we do what we truly love to do; when we follow the belief within that absolutely convinces us that we are on the right track, it is a magical place to be. Doors open, obstacles fall away, and whatever is needed seems to appear almost of itself, and in the exact perfect moment!
Source: Eugene F. Moynihan: Thinking Anew: Harnessing the Power of Belief
When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women--Workbook Edition--Paperback
Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.