As people become more self-aware, they are usually amazed at the abilities of the conscious mind to choose, handle situations with deliberation, and behave appropriately for different occasions.
On the flip side, the unconscious mind is a powerful force driving our behavior. Within our unconscious lie veiled assumptions and beliefs that formulate what is called default behavior.
The dictionary defines default as the “failure to perform a task or fulfill an obligation,” which means that default behaviors are reactive responses that occur when we fail to consider the appropriate response.
Becoming aware of our personal reactive tendencies is crucial if we want to make sense of our toxic behaviors, understand why we have permitted these gremlins to continue, and develop a plan for taming them.
Our attitudes are choices, some of the most important choices we will ever make. Attitudes are reflections of what goes on inside our heads. They affect everything we do—positively or negatively. A negative attitude acts like the accelerator of a car. When we put our pedal to the metal, we learn very quickly that driving can indeed be dangerous to our health and to our career aspirations.
Default behaviors occur when we decide not to act, but to react. And default behaviors may not represent our best side or our ideal self.
Deciding how best to approach a situation:
Allows us to control impulses and select the most appropriate behaviors.
Shows us how to avoid reacting in negative and potentially self-limiting ways.
Makes us more understanding of others.
Reduces conflict, within ourselves and with others.
Becoming aware of the effect our personality and default tendencies have on the people in our lives helps us engineer better communication and leadership styles.
Source: "When Doing It All Won't Do: A self-coaching guide for career women"
When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women--Workbook Edition--Paperback
