"Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it." M. Scott Peck
Looking from the outside, it is easy to see how some people have entrenched beliefs about how the world should work. Problems occur when these beliefs don't align with our reality. The question we might want to ask is, "Why do we allow our decisions and behaviors to be influenced by these unrealistic beliefs?"
We've all received potentially destructive messages that go against what is true for us. Examples might include, "a certain task, is a woman's responsibility; or, stay-at-home women are better wives and mothers, than working women; or a good daughter looks after the emotional needs of their extended families. We self-sabotage when we don't address what are unrealistic beliefs for us. Often it is out of fear.
Fear definitely has a dark side. It distorts our thoughts. We want to avoid confrontation. Feeling powerless to change a challenging situation sends us into a downward spiral. We doubt ourselves and we doubt others. We stay stuck in emotionally charged situations.
Self-sabotage happens when you deny your responsibility for your life. You might ignore your own self-limits because you are trying to take care of other people whose love you desire. People begin to expect more from you than you physically or mentally are prepared to provide.
We cannot control others. But we can control how we respond to another's expectation of us. Ideally, as we mature, we learn to successfully set limits and define our personal boundaries. In any given day, many people will make demands on our time, our talents, our energy, our money and emotions. It is up to us to choose what it is we will say 'no' to and what we will say 'yes' to. Every choice creates an outcome. This is also very much tied to our mission statement, so don't put that off.
Respect your own talent, power and potential. Harness your creative side. Put your skills to work by managing your resources and making them work for you. Identify the issues in your home/work life. Explore your options and look for solutions. No solution is ever achieved without taking action. Waiting for it to "work out" on its own will not resolve the issue.
Don't waste valuable time. Avoid seeing yourself as trapped in a situation or a victim of someone else's actions. Take full advantage of your ability to choose. See yourself as someone who is independent, capable and worthy.
John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women
This is great advice. You may be able to give a lot, but just can't give everyone everything, no matter what. And people often get used to you doing so much, that they feel like asking one more thing isn't a big deal because you're so good at handling everything else anyway... It's just crazy. Find your life and career goals out for yourself and work towards them. Speak to mentors, guides, or spiritual leaders, even the best psychic in Sydney, and find a way towards your own goals. You can't make others happy if you aren't happy yourself.
Posted by: Haley | 09/16/2013 at 06:12 PM