Career Women Coaching

The Power of a Woman in Love

Is it dawning on you just how much power women have to change the whole romance picture?

More than likely, you live with a motivated man who wants more romantic closeness but who is holding back or frustrated.  Which means you often hold the key to the quality of romance.

If you've been disappointed with your romantic relationship and have pushed and prodded to no effect, you've probably realized that nagging doesn't work.  So how do you start?  Encourage him.

One man was blunt: "Encourage me and affirm my efforts, and I'll run through a brick wall to please you.  But don't just assume that I know you're pleased.  I'm way outside my comfort zone.  I'm willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good.  And give me sex.  That helps too."

Many men view taking romantic initiative as a huge risk--a risk of being humiliated or feeling inadequate.  So prove to your man that it's not a risk!  When he makes an effort, it's your responsibility--and your joy--to demonstrate that it was worth it.

Keep it fresh---give him something new to pursue.  Go hiking with him.  Play golf with him.  Give him space when he needs it, and intimate attention when he needs that.  Make yourself the kind of friend and lover he constantly wants to pursue.

So next time he suggests something, don't tell him you really need to vacuum the house.  Give him his version of a candlelight dinner, and enjoy your romantic time together!

"For Women Only: Revised and Updated Edition" by Shaunti Feldhahn delivers eye-opening surprises for women about how the men in their lives actually think and feel--and what they deeply need.

Drawing on groundbreaking national research corroborated by hundreds of interviews, Shaunti Feldhahn's landmark book has helped thousands of women experience "light bulb on" moments when they finally get what makes their husband, boyfriend or boss tick.  The revelations in For Women Only are always fresh, often shocking, and packed with promise for a woman's relationships with the most important man (or men) in her life.

 Shaunti Feldhahn: For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men

 John G. Agno: Women and Time

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

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Job Seekers Need to Use Their Connections.

Nearly half of workers report that connections have been the biggest factor in advancing their career goals, according to a survey by career transition and talent development consulting firm Lee Hecht Harrison.

During February and March, 2013, Lee Hecht Harrison surveyed 485 workers throughout the U.S. via an online poll asking, “What has been most helpful in advancing your career?” The results were as follows:

Connections	47%
On-the-job training	30%
Mentor(s)	14%
Degree(s)	9%

According to Lee Hecht Harrison Executive Vice President Jim Greenway, “While a degree credentials a job seeker, it’s the relationships we nurture and the reputations we build that invariably lead to more opportunities for advancement. “

Greenway stressed that in today’s job market, you can’t underestimate the value of a strong network to help stand out from the crowd.  Greenway advises, “More and more, hiring managers and recruiters are relying on referrals and recommendations for sourcing and hiring new employees.  Job seekers need to use their connections – online and in real life – to uncover open positions and gain introductions.”

Being known and coming recommended puts the job seeker at a significant advantage over those who are unknown, often fast tracking their resume to the top of the pile. According to Greenway, “As social recruiting becomes more sophisticated, it is increasingly important for today’s workforce to use their online professional network to establish new relationships, credential themselves, engage in meaningful activity that builds trust, and grow their sphere of access.”

To learn more about workplace trends impacting hiring and recruiting, download our free white paper Better Hires, Better Business.

Person-to-Person Networking

Most people think they will get their next job thanks to networking, according to a new poll of nearly 600 U.S. and Canadian workers by Right Management.

Whether currently employed or unemployed, half of those surveyed expect that person-to-person networking is how they will find their next position, while one in five think it will come from a posting on an Internet job board.

According to the survey, 19% believe their next job will come about because of an employment agency or recruiter. And 8% imagine it will result from cold calling, or contacting a prospective employer directly. Only 1% expect a newspaper ad to play a role.

How do you think you will find your next position?

Networking	50%
Job board	22%
Agency/recruiter	19%
Direct approach	8%
Newspaper/periodical	1%

“These findings track well with actual outcomes,” said Monika Morrow, Senior Vice President of Career Management at Right Management.  “It turns out that face-to-face contact is how more than half of our candidates find new employment based on firm data for the past five years, although nowadays job searches may begin through social networks such as LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.  By itself, however, job boards are about half as effective in actual circumstances, just as the individuals surveyed anticipate.”

“There’s constantly something new in the job search world, particularly as it relates to social media,” observed Morrow, “whereas for years recruiters have been losing ground to the Internet and social media.  Likewise, classified print ads hardly play a role any longer.  But all tools and approaches should be used along with traditional networking given that one frequently leads to the other.” 

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

 John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.

 John Agno: Decoding the Executive Woman's Dress Code (FREE)

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Gen Y and Mentoring

For a new generation of workers, the idea of seeking out a single career confidant is as old-fashioned as a three-martini lunch.

Sure, seasoned professionals still offer valuable wisdom to those on the way up, says Monica Higgins, a professor at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, but “one senior person can no longer be the only place you turn for career support.”  According to Jeanne Meister, co-author of The 2020 Workplace, younger workers seem less respectful of more experienced colleagues and don’t feel compelled to follow in the same path as their superiors. “Millennials can be bold and hungry when it comes to getting what they want,” Meister says. “And today’s new mentorship models are more like Twitter conversations than the long-term relationships of days past. They’re short-term and quite informal. And they end before it becomes a chore for either party. 

One approach is “peer mentoring,” a gathering of like-minded individuals who can offer guidance for one another, much like Facebook (FB) Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg’s “lean in circles.” Another is “reverse mentoring,” in which older workers attempt to stay current in a rapidly changing industry by relying on younger colleagues, an approach popularized by former General Electric (GE) Chairman Jack Welch. 

Younger workers are in pursuit of a sponsor, the preferred academic term for a mentor who goes beyond advising to actively promoting an underling. “Millennials look for those critical few to help them reach their goals in as short an amount of time as possible,” Meister says. Several studies have found that sponsorship can be effective for securing better compensation, faster promotions, and job satisfaction.

Source: Bloomberg BusinessWeek March 18, 2013

 Sheryl Sandberg: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

 John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.

 

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Women Lean Into Cars

Leaning into the U.S., women have become the majority of automobile drivers.  Figures from the Federal Highway Administration show that in 2011—the last year with data available—50.5% of licensed drivers were women, up from 39.6% in 1963.

That share should only grow in the years to come, reckons Michael Sivak of the University of Michigan's Transportation Research Institute. The reasons for this are a drop in the number of young men actually getting licenses and an increase in the share of older drivers. The latter matters because more women make it into old age than men. 

Meantime, the pay gap between men and women continues to narrow. The median female worker made 81 cents for every dollar her male counterpart made last year, compared with 62 cents in 1979. That trend, too, will almost certainly continue: Survey findings recently released by the Labor Department showed that among Americans born in the early 1980s, 30% of women had received a bachelor's degree by the age of 25 compared with just 22% of men.

One conclusion arising from all this is that women are becoming a much more potent force in the car market. That could pose a challenge for the auto industry in general. 

Women also tend to buy less expensive cars.  According to research firm RDA Group, the average new car bought by a woman last year cost 12% less than the average new car bought by a man.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, March 19, 2013

 Sheryl Sandberg: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

 John G. Agno: Women and Time

 John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.

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Spring into a New Job

As spring approaches, TheLadders is encouraging job seekers to use this opportunity to review and replenish their professional inventories. Recently, the online job-matching service surveyed its more than 5 million members to determine their level of preparedness for today’s job-search landscape.  

“Most of us associate springtime with warmer temperatures and blooming greenery, basically a fresh start,” said Amanda Augustine, job search expert for TheLadders. “Job seekers should apply this same sentiment to their job-search efforts and use this opportunity to organize and refresh their personal brands. Revamping your resume, polishing your online presence, and optimizing your professional network will bring any job search to new heights.” 

While nearly 70 percent of survey respondents proclaimed that their job search was “top priority,” many are overlooking key job-search fundamentals that may prohibit them from landing a job. Drawing on TheLadders’ survey results, Augustine developed the following tips to help job seekers give their brands a good scrubbing this spring. 

• Unclutter Your Resume – If your current resume is not delivering results, it may be time to start fresh. As emphasized by 80 percent of TheLadders’ survey respondents, a resume should be no longer than two pages. However, despite 75 percent of respondents’ stating otherwise, a resume should go back no more than 15 years, regardless of work history. 
• Sweep Your Online Presence – Out with the old, in with the new; it’s time to give your online presence a face-lift. Surprisingly, only 36 percent of survey respondents admit to researching themselves “regularly” on Google, and just 52 percent “use privacy settings on personal accounts” and social networks. To ensure employers find the best professional profile both online and in person, it is imperative to actively monitor your brand. Setting up “Google Alerts” for your name and tightening your privacy settings is a great start. 
• Pollinate Your Network – In this digital age, it is not surprising that only 7 percent of survey respondents still use a Rolodex to “organize professional contacts.” It is time to break out your smartphone to research and re-engage with contacts with whom you have lost touch. Start planting the seeds now to grow a network of relevant contacts by joining professional associations, lunching with former colleagues and engaging with industry-specific online groups. As confirmed by 60 percent of survey respondents, networks are “very useful in landing your most recent job.”

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

 John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.

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Women Aspiring to Leadership

In Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.” Her point, in a nutshell, is that notwithstanding the many gender biases that still operate all over the workplace, excuses and justifications won’t get women anywhere. Instead, believe in yourself, give it your all, “lean in” and “don’t leave before you leave” — which is to say, don’t doubt your ability to combine work and family and thus edge yourself out of plum assignments before you even have a baby. Leaning in can promote a virtuous circle: you assume you can juggle work and family, you step forward, you succeed professionally, and then you’re in a better position to ask for what you need and to make changes that could benefit others.

No one who reads this book will ever doubt that Sandberg herself has the will to lead, not to mention the requisite commitment, intelligence and ferocious work ethic. Sandberg has been the chief operating officer of Facebook since 2008. At 43, she has already had a storied career: research assistant to Lawrence Summers at the World Bank; management consultant at McKinsey; chief of staff to Summers at the Treasury Department; and six and a half years at Google, where she rose to the post of vice president of global online sales and operations. She has also made it to the top of the notoriously male-dominated world of Silicon Valley. 

Sandberg is right to say that it is easier to handle work-family conflicts from as high a position on the career ladder as possible, but if in fact it’s the tipping points that tip women out of the work force, or at least prevent them from rising, then no amount of psychological coaching will make a difference.

That is the real debate here, and it’s an important one. Sandberg puts her finger on it when she writes: “For decades, we have focused on giving women the choice to work inside or outside the home. . . . But we have to ask ourselves if we have become so focused on supporting personal choices that we’re failing to encourage women to aspire to leadership.”

Young women might be more willing to lean in if they saw better models and possibilities of fitting work and life together.

In the March 11, 2013 edition of BusinessWeek magazine, Allsion Pearson, author of "I Don't Know How She Does It," writes:

"Unaccountably, Sandberg claims that young women who know they want to be a mother make the mistake of taking their foot off the work accelerator years in advance.  My own findings suggest that, far from leaning back, young women are so focused on reaching senior level before they allow themselves the luxury of getting pregnant that they frequently ignore the clanging bell of the biological clock.  Involuntary childlessness was the heartbreaking result--a major trend for professional women, and Sandberg doesn't even mention it.

A banker mom of three who wrote to me said, 'In my office, you'd get more sympathy if you came out as a cocaine addict than if you admit you've got kids.  The firm has a program for drug addicts, but unfortunately motherhood is a lifelong and incurable condition.'"

Source: "Yes, You Can" by Anne-Marie Slaughter in The New York Times, March 10, 2013

 Sheryl Sandberg: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

 Allison Pearson: I Don't Know How She Does It

 John Agno: When Doing It All Won't Do: A Self-Coaching Guide for Career Women

 John G. Agno: Women and Time

 John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.

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On International Women's Day...

 To celebrate International Women's Day, Friday March 8th, please consider joining the conversation on "Do Women Make Better Leaders?" at: http://coachingtip.blogs.com/career_women_coaching/2013/01/do-women-make-better-leaders.html

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Face-to-Face Communication at Work

Despite a marked increase in the number of communication and collaboration technologies available to workers, a recent survey of knowledge workers by TrackVia reveals that most workers still regularly  communicate the old fashioned way, in person and face-to-face.  

Some notable findings:

• Bad News and Good News: When your boss or colleague asks to meet in person, it’s only slightly more likely to be good news. Sixty-nine percent of respondents preffered sharing “positive” feedback face-to-face versus 63 percent who prefer sharing “negative” feedback face-to-face.
• Making Friends at Work: Forty-three percent of respondents felt electronic communication improved workplace relationships. Only eight percent felt it negatively impacted relationships.
• Connecting a Name with a Face: Forty percent of workers said they had worked with someone for an extended period, yet never met them in person – or even talked to on the phone.
• Workplace Romance: Fourteen percent of respondents reported flirting with a co-worker via email, texting or instant messaging. Ten percent admitted to initiating a workplace romance via electronic communications.
• Keeping Track of Family: While face-to-face communication is still dominant at work, what happens when workers need to get in touch with family during working hours?  One-in-five use text messaging most often when it is necessary to contact family during working hours.  Although a higher proportion (36%) call with their cell phone most often for this purpose, it is still interesting that texting has become the mode of choice for a sizable proportion who are trying to juggle work and family demands.  

“When it comes to increasing workplace productivity, it’s clear that tools like email and instant messaging help, but don’t replace personal collaboration,” said Charles Var, vice president of Marketing for TrackVia, providers of an online solution of applications that people can share with colleagues.  “Context also matters as people’s preference for communication appears to change based on what they’re doing.”