By Guest Author David Newth
We are living in an era of extreme financial restraint and uncertainty, while the associated pressure for employers and employees is at an all-time high. Formal stress management training has not escaped the cuts, so the need to take self-responsibility in learning about stress has never been greater.
However, have no fear: these are many tried and tested techniques for keeping stress at bay there is no ‘one cap fits all’ solution. Dealing with stress requires individual choice to suit differing personalities and individual circumstances. Nevertheless, there are many common tips and techniques for dealing with stress. We hope this little collection of anti-stress tips might help you find your own way of dealing with stress.
Self recognition and honesty
Given the premise that we have choice in the extent to which we allow everyday frustrations and setbacks to affect our mood, it follows that our perceptions of such matters are vital and of course these can vary alarmingly from day to day, influenced by what else has been going on at work, home, or even the journey between the two. A challenging situation today may give us a buzz, whereas the identical situation tomorrow might be a burden. The dual recognition that (a) we have choice of perception and (b) that we can often be our own worst enemy are not easy to remember when we are having a bad day. If we are too absorbed by the negatives, we become blinkered and find it hard to see the wood from the trees. Self-flagellation!
Tyranny of a ‘to do’ list
Of course it is essential to have in some form or other an ongoing to do list. Without it we would be rudderless, not to mention denying ourselves the quiet satisfaction of crossing items off from time to time. The trouble is that most to do lists are unachievable in the time scale we give them because we are unrealistic optimists, and then we go home at the end of the day feeling we’ve failed – again!
Instead, try thinking more in terms of a really short I absolutely-must-do-these-today list and start to zap it as soon as you arrive. Have another quite short it-would-be-a-bonus-if-I-manage-to-make-a-start-on-some-of-these list. Invariably you will go home having achieved at least as much as if your list had been the usual endless one. Your self-esteem will benefit too.
Be assertive with yourself
‘I’m in charge of me!’ The starting point for being assertive with other people is to be assertive with yourself. Decide what you want for yourself and how you will go about getting it. This mindset involves forming a blueprint in your head of the attitudes and behaviour you will always aspire to convey in any given situation. Once instilled, they become part of your way of thinking and instead of hesitating or rushing into a situation when you might be wondering what to do or say, your instinctive blueprint comes into play, you feel in control of your emotions and actions and you come across as confident and decisive. Of course it is not as easy or as automatic as I’ve made it sound, but even getting halfway there and progressing further in small increments can be rewarding.
You may enjoy being a workaholic and perhaps it doesn’t impact on your loved ones or friends, in which case: no harm, no foul…or is there? If you are inclined to be obsessed with your work, the chances are that you are missing opportunities for a more rounded outlook. But what if you have family or friends who deserve your time and attention? You may be physically with them, but the part of you that really matters might still be drifting off to work most of the time. Don’t allow yourself to be shackled by your work.
‘Me’ time
Do you ever put yourself first, even if it risks seeming selfish? There is a particular issue here for women if the home is a typical family household. Even if you are managing to juggle your domestic life with a management job and career, you will naturally feel an instinctive wish to see that you are there for your children when they need you and that you are fulfilling the traditional expectations of motherhood in all its many facets, including later on the role of chauffeur to your teenagers! Unless you are blessed with the ready availability and support of a ‘househusband’, then life can seem like an endless rush to keep all the plates spinning. At times your loyalty to your employer and your family will be at odds.
This may seem cock-eyed but the solution is to recognise that it can be selfish not to risk being perceived as selfish at times! Call a family conference, be assertive, tell them there are going to be some changes as you’re not prepared to be a slave any longer and that to protect your health and stay fit (for their sakes) there is going to be more team participation around the house. Go further and let them know that at certain times you simply won’t be available because you will be indulging in some ‘me time’. It may be luxuriating in a bath with the door locked, going on a walk on your own, having a nap, getting lost in a book. The important thing is to be definite and precise about it so that everyone knows where they stand and what is expected of them. You’ll get some initial mumbles of protest, but imagine the satisfaction when you overhear them admitting that you’re right and they’ve always taken you for granted. Let them help you in drawing up the details of the new arrangements. It invariably works and you end up feeling less pressured and being more, not less, appreciated. Win-win!
There are many other ways to deal with stress and everybody has to find her or his own way to cope with it. But you should always keep on trying to lead a richer and healthier life.
If you are keen to learn more about stress in general, you can take a look at the book “Stress and Work/Life Balance” published by the eBook publisher bookboon.com. This article is based on this free downloadable book written by David Newth.
Other books for career women that can help you achieve work/life integration:
John G Agno: Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge.
"When Doing It All Won't Do: A self-coaching guide for career women" by Barbara McEwen & John G. Agno. Order the PDF ebook - Workbook Edition (ISBN-10: 0983586527) for only $12.99 (to view full-size on your computer screen or decide to printout locally) today: Add to Cart
Purchase and download for the Nook eReader and iPad tablets at Barnes & Noble for $9.99
Purchase and download at Amazon for the Kindle Edition - for $9.99
Purchase and download all eReader formats at Smashwords (Various Formats, except the pdf Workbook Edition, are available) for $9.99
More information at: http://www.whendoingitallwontdo.com
that the government is maneatdd to increase defense spending at the expense of social programs that help vulnerable populations! Also, take an economics course regarding how the financial system works (specifically pay attention to the part about U.S. deficit spending and floating currency values). Also, this article is not being essentialist. It is not arguing that every woman has the same interests or ideals. It is advocating for women who do not hold power and do not have a strong voice. When making policy choices, we have to weigh the needs of every citizen and some citizens do not have the capacity to meet basic needs. It is just reality, not idealism. What would we have them do instead? Look at third world countries to understand what happens to a state that cannot aid its vulnerable populations.
Posted by: Paw | 07/18/2012 at 04:24 AM