For many office spouses, Valentine's Day is uncharted territory. Even though the relationship is platonic, some want to use Feb. 14 to acknowledge their bond.
Of course, conventional wisdom says it's a no-no. Valentine's Day is so tied to romantic love that even casual gifts to a co-worker are easily misunderstood, says Jacqueline Olds, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. "One person might think it's all in good fun, while the other person could easily take it the wrong way," she says. Office spouses also have to make it clear that they value their actual spouses or romantic relationships more.
Employers, wary of sexual-harassment problems, often frown on Valentine's Day parties or gift-giving at the office. And office spouses can also be hazardous to a marriage when the relationships cross the line into an "emotional affair"—a romance "that hasn't become sexual yet," says Peggy Vaughan, a San Diego author and founder of Beyond Affairs Network, an organization of support groups for people hurt by spousal infidelity.
Nearly two-thirds of workers have or have had a work spouse, according to a survey in July of 640 white-collar workers by Captivate Network, a Chelmsford, Mass., digital-programming and advertising company.
Still, the greeting-card industry isn't touching the office-spouse relationship. Valentine's Day is universally regarded as "an occasion for spouses or romantic partners to express their love," says Susan January, vice president of the Greeting Card Association, a White Plains, N.Y.-based trade group. Any non-romantic cards stick to humor between friends.
Source: The Wall Street Journal, February 9, 2011
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