So Baby Boomer: Life Tips

Erotically Uncharged Boomers

Researchers are wondering why so many women feel little sexual desire and what should be done for them.

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder studies suggest that around 30 percent of young and middle-aged women go through extended periods of feeling dim desire or of feeling no wish for sex whatsoever.  More than by any other sexual problem--the elusiveness of orgasm or pain during sex--women feel plagued by low desire.  The problems often overlap, but above all the others that can thwart an erotic life, the remoteness of lust is what impels women to seek treatment.  Not all women who feel erotically uncharged are desperate to change.  Some may not be dismayed in the least. 

Search for Pink Viagra

Several studies, including one published in 1999 in The Journal of the American Medical Association, have indicated that sexual dysfunction is more common in women (43 percent) than men (31 percent).

And it's worse for middle-aged women.  A survey of 31,581 women published in 2008 in Obstetrics & Gynecology found 44.6 percent of those age 45 to 64 reported a problem with desire, arousal or orgasm, compared with 27.2 percent of women age 18 to 44.

Boomers are visiting the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute, which treats about 200 women a week, mostly from the Philadelphia-New York City corridor, but some from as far away as Canada, South America and Britain.  Half the patients seen by the staff of 20 are boomer women.  A lot of them have husbands and boyfriends who've been given a recharge via Viagra.

Since 1998, men have had blue Viagra pills, and for many years, doctors prescribed hormone replacement therapy for women to ease menopause symptoms and improve sex drive.  But in 2002, hormone therapy was linked to small increases in breast cancer, heart attacks and strokes.  Since then, Susan Kellogg, who has a doctorate in human sexuality and is a nurse practitioner, says, "We've had to be more creative."

The typical boomer patient they see, she said, "is a woman 52 to 54, a year or two after menopause, and she's saying, 'I can't do it, I can't keep up,'" and 10 to 15 percent point to their male partner's use of Viagra.

"Viagra has brought women out of the closet on this," Kellogg said.  "It's given them a way to talk about it.  Suddenly he's got a sex life again and she's crying in pain.  No one's talked about the impact of Viagra would have on her, which is why it's important to work with the couple.  She needs to understand what she's going through is normal."

Source: The New York Times, November 29, 2009

Anti-Aging Boomers

Synthetic versions of the quintessential male hormone are prescribed to thousands of patients in the U.S. to treat fatigue, sagging libido and other signs of testosterone deficiency.

But when they're applied as topical gels, they have an unpleasant propensity to rub off on other people.  In addition, the FDA is concerned about the growing use of testosterone by anti-aging clinics seeking to restore youthfulness to Baby Boomers and by the abuse of such drugs in sports.

It's no surprise the FDA is being so vigilant.  Sales of testosterone products already on the market have rocketed 25% in the 12 months ending in June, to just under $1 billion.  Boomer lust for the hormone is now spurring a land grab by companies that make it.  On September 28, 2009, drug giant Abbott Laboratories paid $6.6 billion to acquire Solvay Pharmaceuticals, which makes the leading testosterone product, AndroGel.

"The driving element is demographics," David P. Holveck, CEO of Endo Pharmaceuticals, says.  Analyst Annabel Samimy, who covers Endo and Auxilium for Thomas Weisel Partners, expects continued double-digit growth for such products, figuring that only 10% of patients who have low testosterone are currently treated.

Testosterone is one of the fastest-growing therapies prescribed by the $80 billion-a-year anti-aging industry, which has embraced it as the cure du jour for andropause, more commonly known as male menopause.  Conservative doctors question the existence of such a malady, whereas I thought a red Porsche 911 would help me through male menopause and testosterone makers shy from discussing it because they're not allowed to promote the drug "off-label"--for users not endorsed by the FDA.  Still, off-label prescriptions are likely to account for much of the market's rapid growth.

The fact isn't lost on the FDA: During a press conference to announce the black boxes, an agency spokeswoman said she was alarmed that 25,000 testosterone prescriptions per year are written off-label for women, who use it to boost their libidos.

Source: BUSINESSWEEK, November 9, 2009

Boomer Alimony Debate

As divorced Baby Boomers reach retirement age, recession has decimated nest eggs and erased jobs. 

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported a 'big spike' this year in clients seeking to modify their alimony arrangements.  In a March 2009 survey, 42% of the group's divorce attorneys reported an "unusual" increase in such cases, with 6% reporting a drop.

In Los Angeles, Family Court Judge Marjorie Steinberg also reports a "dramatic" surge in these requests.  She says petitioners include one-time high earners who've lost their jobs, a group she says she'd "rarely seen before."

Many states put formal alimony laws into place in the 1960s and 1970s, amid rising divorce rates and concerns that women earned less than men.  States such as California and Massachusetts passed laws that included provisions for indefinite alimony.

Almost 7% of divorce agreements provide for alimony or spouse-support payments, which is separate from child-support payments.  Americans gave $9.4 billion to former spouses in 2007, up from $5.6 billion a decade earlier, according to the Internal Revenue Service.  Men accounted for 97% of alimony-payers last year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, although the share of women supporting ex-husbands is on the rise.

Critics argue that in the decades since alimony guidelines were set, the U.S. has changed much: Women made up 46.7% of the work force last year, up from 41.2% in 1978, according to the Department of Labor.  Others counter that America hasn't changed enough: Women in the 45-to-54-year-old age group earn 75% as much as men the same age.

But the momentum appears to be with those who seek to guard alimony payers' shrinking resources.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, October 31, 2009

What Boomers Don't Know about Love & Marriage

Last evening, my mate and I were having dinner out when she noticed a couple, at a table behind me, who were separately and silently reading during their meal; she a book and he a newspaper.  

Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., "The Love Doctor," would tell them (to be happy in their marriage) wives need emotional connection, including talking regularly with their husbands about their emotions, their relationship and sharing a team-like approach to household activities.  This time of connection, say over dinner at the end of the day, matters to women.  Yes, husbands don't want a lot of relationship talk.  However, when husbands take time to listen to their wife and respond in affective affirmation, the "mood" of the marriage can dramatically change for the better.

There is so much we don't know, we don't know, about the science of becoming happy couples.  That is why a new book by Dr. Orbuch, based upon her federally-funded research study of married couples, is a necessary read for boomers who wish to seize the moment and make their marriage exceptional.

"5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great" is full of "do you knows" that can change your perceptions from myths to proven facts, separate tips for both men and women, as well as important findings from Dr. Orbuch's ongoing long-term study of marriages detailing what works and doesn't work for couples to be happy.

Yes, men are from Mars and women from Venus and bound to collide as Dr. John Gray has told us.  And because we genders think differently, we seem to speak different languages. 

For instance, Helen R. Weingarten and Elizabeth Douvan, both psychologists from the University of Michigan, observed that men and women ask different questions when they problem solve.  When problem solving, women will ask you what you mean?  They are focused on the underlying emotional reasons why you did what you did.  It is difficult for most men to speak clearly about the emotions behind their actions--such as telling someone how they felt.  In contrast, the man will ask her where is this going?  Men's problem solving is very task oriented and focused on the future implications of the discussion.

Can old boomers lighten up, understand the other gender's language and focus on new, positive elements to boost marital happiness?

Just as they have been setting new trends in every stage of their lives, boomers will continue to do so as they head into their best years.  With greater freedom to explore exciting experiences and places, they hope to enjoy these new adventures side-by-side with a loving partner.  Dr. Orbuch's new book is an excellent travel guide to take along on these new journeys

 Terri L. Orbuch: 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great

Sex and the Single Senior

The U.S. Census reports there are nearly 16 million unmarried Americans age 65 and older.  Add the bubble of single Baby Boomers, now 45 to 63, poised to join the senior set -- and it’s no wonder that singles age 55 and older are the fastest growing group of online daters.

Dr. Terri Orbuch (a.k.a. The Love Doctor®) – a professor, federally funded research scientist, and marriage and family therapist -- has joined forces with SeniorPeopleMeet (www.seniorpeoplemeet.com), the nation’s largest online dating site devoted to seniors, to offer guidance and perspective to the seniors who have formed a community there in their search for companionship, love or even marriage. 

"Without doubt, the single most common question I get from seniors is:  is it too late or will I find that someone special again?” said Orbuch.  “Many seniors believe in the concept of a soul mate and think they’ve already had their turn at love.  That’s absolutely not true, and online dating can be a godsend for them.  It offers a vastly expansive pool of potential partners -- far more than the limited number of singles one can find randomly in the neighborhood, grocery line or place of worship.” 

Dr. Orbuch discusses such senior dating dilemmas as:

 

· When is it too soon -- to date, have sex, tell the kids?

· Seniors and cyberdating:  is there a stigma and how to overcome it?

· Money: yours, mine and ours?  When’s the right time to talk about it?

· Top tips for staying safe online -- for seniors in particular

· Why older singles crave companionate love

· How health issues affect commitment in seniors who date

· Special rules for seniors dating after divorce

· Top ways to build trust in a new relationship

· How your personal history affects your ability to trust

 

 Terri L. Orbuch: 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great

    

Boomer Women Tolerating Excessive Workload

Reducing anxiety during the economic recession is important for the mental and physical health of boomers.  However, knowing that you get what you tolerate can be important in handling today's challenges.

In a new survey of 4,435 full-time employees, 37 percent of respondents say they are now doing the work of two people, and 30 percent say they feel burned out.  A dysfunctional work environment, if left unchecked, can deteriorate to the point of employee burnout. Burnout is a familiar term these days: it's the physical or emotional exhaustion that results from long-term stress or frustration.  Chronic fatigue is a major symptom of burnout: one feels physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. Behaviorally, the burnout worker becomes cynical, indifferent and increasingly ineffective in the job. 

To reduce stress on the job, consider visiting this week's Blogging Boomer Carnival hosted by Laura Lee Carter, the Midlife Crisis Queen.

Boomer Bathing Suit Shopping

You know who looks fabulous in a bathing suit?

A mannequin.

Bathing suits--let's not kid ourselves boomers--are underwear, but worse.  For, unlike underwear, they do not work behind the scenes.  Bathing suits are the whole show.  They cannot depend on the charity of clothes to prettify the picture.  This makes shopping for them a high-stakes endeavor.  It takes a certain amount of derring-do and self-delusion to view one's mostly naked body reflected fluorescently in a three-panel mirror.

The first consumers of bathing costumes may have been the Greeks, according to bikini scholars, who base their suppositions on illustrations, found on Minoan cave walls from 1600 B.C., of female gymnasts in two-piecers.  Two thousand or so years later, mosaics in Sicily depicted women capering in scanty bandeaux and briefs.

As the Baby Boomer Generation began in 1946, Jacques Heim, a swimwear designer who had a shop in Cannes, created a tiny two-piece he called the Atome.  Heim hired skywriters to fly over the Riviera, proclaiming that his design was "the smallest bathing suit in the world."  Louis Reard, an automotive engineer, announced that he'd split the Atome and made it nanoscale, thus introducing le bikini.  The bikini appeared four days after in the United States began nuclear tests in the Bikini Atoll--hence the name. 

Reard hired skywriters to declare that his bikini was "smaller than the smallest bathing suit in the world."  A genuine bikini, Reard said, could be pulled through a wedding ring.  Diana Vreeland remarked that these three famous triangles of fabric "revealed everything about a girl except her mother's maiden name."

Early boomers were in their teens when the French demi-fashion caught on in America and by 1967 Time reported that "65% of the young set has already gone over, and this seems the season when the more mature will follow suit."  During that time span these were influencers: Brigitte Bardot, sexual liberation, the growing number of back-yard pools, Brian Hyland's hit singe "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" (1960), the first Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue (featured a white bikini, in 1964), or global warming.

Today, there is good news for boomers!  Bathing suits with magical contraptions in them.

Shoshanna Gruss, who became a designer in 1998, the year after she broke up with Jerry Seinfeld, insists that, no matter what a woman's size, her Shoshanna strapless bathing suit tops will stay fixed on the chest because the underwire bra is built with twenty-six components, including side boning, silicone gripper tape, and a hidden hook-and-eye closure (Saks Fifth Avenue; plum bikini with twisted bandeau top, $45.90 on sale).

Source: THE NEW YORKER, August 3, 2009

What has something really cool that you've never seen before and can't get anywhere else? 

The answer is Facebook, which now says it is adding a staggering five million members a week...and...boomer women are the fastest-growing demographic on the site.

Visit the Blogging Boomer Carnival #125 for what's happening in the world of boomers--hosted this week by Ann Harrison at Contemporary Retirement.

Boomer Women and Vitamins

Vitamin retailer General Nutrition Centers (GNC) is positioning the chain to address Baby Boomer concerns such as anti-aging, osteoporosis and brain health.

The chain, once regarded as a sports-and-workout retailer, now carries everything from pastel pills for women to designer formulations for a range of conditions--obesity, say, or brittle fingernails.

Consider CNC's popular Wellbeing line of supplements for women.  Launch this year, it features small, colorful capsules--some in "be-Hot" vitamin packs (fatty acids that allegedly help burn calories) or packaged as "be-Beautiful" pills (amino acids to help strengthen hair, skin and nails).  To promote the line, GNC will soon launch its biggest ad campaign ever aimed at women, in fitness and fashion magazines.

Already, says franchisee Nelson Fleming in Georgia, more female customers come to his 10 stores.  "They'll ask, 'Have you got something for my hair?'"

Source: BUSINESSWEEK, August 10, 2009

Boomers Spending Less

Baby Boomers were responsible for a 78% share of GDP growth during the bubble years of 1995-2005. 

Many companies, like Mercedes, saw themselves as the quintessential boomer brand.  Drive down an American highway, and odds are good that the person piloting the Benz was born between 1946 and 1962.  Back in 1980, when the first Baby Boomer turned 40, Mercedes sold 99,000 cars in the U.S.  In 2006, when those boomers hit 60, the automaker moved almost 250,000 vehicles, a fifth of its global total.

This year, Mercedes will sell a third fewer cars in America and sales won't recover for a long time because boomers, history's wealthiest generation, are taped out.

When 79 million people--nearly a third of Americans--start spending less and saving more, you know it won't be pretty.  According to consulting firm McKinsey, boomers' conversion to thrift could stifle the economy's hoped-for rebound and knock U.S. growth down from the 3.2% it has averaged since 1965 to 2.4% over the next 30 years.