So Baby Boomer: Life Tips

Opening the gate to Fathers

The benefits of having a positive, involved father are well documented by decades of research.

Now, scholars are focusing their microscopes on an obstacle to fathers' involvement:  "gatekeeping" by mothers who control or hamper fathers' interactions with their children.

Of course, fathers are free to choose their level of involvement.  But negative gatekeeping by mothers--grimaces or criticism when men try to change a diaper or feed or play with a baby--can block out even fathers who believe they should be involved, says a 2008 study in the Journal of Family Psychology, led by Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan.

It's usually moms who do the gatekeeping, but they're not always to blame.  Some fathers invite interference by hanging back or being irritable or anxious.  In other cases, women aren't conscious of their gatekeeping.  Some women whose sense of identity is strongly tied to being a mother may fend off help in order to bolster their self-image, research shows.  Others are simply inclined by nature to bond closely; caring for a baby may be so engrossing for these women that they crowd out dads, says a 2008 study in the journal Family Process.

The bottom line: Simply becoming conscious of gatekeeping and its hazards equips some couples to avoid it.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, June 17, 2009

Girl Talk is a De-Stresser

Girl talk is good for a woman's health according to a new study by researchers at the University of Michigan who examined progresterone levels in the saliva of 160 female college students.

When a woman feels emotionally close to a girlfriend, levels of the hormone progesterone increase, helping to boost mood and alleviate stress.

The progesterone levels in the women who participated in emotionally close tasks remained the same or increased, while those in the emotionally neutral task group tended to decline.  In the study, progesterone was used as a marker for oxytocin, a hormone linked to relationship trust and bonding.  Oxytocin itself can be measured only through spinal fluid or brain scans.

The study supports a concept in evolution that is gaining momentum--that the hormonal basis of social bonds enables people to suppress self-interest when necessary to promote the well-being of another person.  The research also helps explain why social contact appears to lead to improved health.

The study is published in the June 2009 issue of the journal "Hormones and Behavior."

Source: Los Angeles Times and Ann Arbor News, June 5, 2009

Boomer Women and Hormone Replacement Therapy

Many physicians remain uncertain about prescribing hormone therapy for symptomatic women at the onset of menopause.  The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) convened a multidisciplinary group of healthcare providers to discuss the efficacy and risks of hormone therapy for symptomatic women, and to determine whether it would be appropriate to treat women at the onset of menopause who were complaining of menopausal symptoms.

 

Major Findings

 

Numerous controlled clinical trials consistently demonstrate that hormone therapy, administered via oral, transdermal, or vaginal routes, is the most effective treatment for vasomotor symptoms. Topical vaginal formulations of hormone therapy should be preferred when prescribing solely for the treatment of symptoms of vulvar and vaginal atrophy. Data from the Women's Health Initiative indicate that the overall attributable risk of invasive breast cancer in women receiving estrogen plus progestin was 8 more cases per 10,000 women-years. No increased risk for invasive breast cancer was detected for women who never used hormone therapy in the past or for those receiving estrogen only. Hormone therapy is not effective for the treatment of cardiovascular disease and that the risk of cardiovascular disease with hormone therapy is principally in older women who are considerably postmenopause.

 

Conclusions

 

Healthy symptomatic women should be offered the option of hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms. Symptom relief with hormone therapy for many younger women (at the onset of menopause) with menopausal symptoms outweighs the risks and may provide an overall improvement in quality of life. Hormone therapy should be individualized for symptomatic women. This involves tailoring the regimen and dose to individual needs.

 

Women entering menopause should discuss all the risks and benefits with their doctors, as well as their symptoms, health and family history, and make an individual, informed decision.

 

Source: "Should Symptomatic Menopausal Women Be Offered Hormone Therapy?" published August 17, 2006

 

2009 Update

 

It should be noted that millions of women abandoned menopause hormones after the big Women's Health Initiative (WHI) trial was halted early in 2002 amid signs that they increased the risk of heart attack and stroke.  A growing number of experts now believe that the women in the WHI--average age 63--do not reflect the typical women entering menopause, and that the same risks may not apply to younger women.

Boomer Women Revelation: Sex Should Not Hurt!

Many Baby Boomer women still believe talking about vaginal pain is taboo.

A recent survey reveals that roughly half of all postmenopausal women surveyed agreed that they have learned to live with the vulvar and vaginal symptoms of menopause such as dryness as a normal part of getting older.  However, this number increases among postmenopausal women who experience pain during sex.  In fact, eight out of ten postmenopausal women who experience pain during sex (80%) agreed* that they have learned to live with the vulvar and vaginal symptoms of menopause such as dryness as a normal part of getting older.

However, learning to live with painful sex is not a requirement of aging.

Older Women: Big Online Spenders

The Internet is neither new nor young.

The fastest growing segment of Facebook users is women over 55, according to the Tracking Facebook blog.   In fact, 65% of online apparel sales go to women over age 35, according to market researcher NPD Group.  Among these, the fastest growing sales are to women between 55 and 64 years old--a boomer population that has always been known for its willingness to indulge.

Online sales to women aged 25-35 fell 8% in the year ended in March, but sales to 55-to-64-year-olds rose 11%.

At www.Saks.com, Saks Fifth Avenue's website, the average age of an online customer is 42, and she spends an average of $400 when she visits.

Source: Style, The Wall Street Journal, May 21, 2009

Boomer Women: Friends Matter

The research is clear about the positive implications of friendship.

There was, for instance, a 14-year project at Flinders University in Australia that tracked 1,500 women as they aged.  The study found that close friendships---even more than close family ties---help prolong women's lives.  Those with the most friends lived 22% longer than those with the fewest friends.

Linked by 40 years of experiences and memories, 10 women from Ames, Iowa, are a lesson in the power and lifelong benefits of friendship.  Born at the end of the Baby Boom, their memories are evocative of their times.  Their story is universal, even common, and on that level, it can't help but resonate with almost anyone who has ever had a friend.

In their adult lives after Ames, the women found newer friends.  But these more recent friendships are built mostly around their kids, jobs or current neighborhoods.  The bonds are limited to the here and now.

Mother of the Bride

Congratulations on the engagement of your daughter (or son)! 

The excitement has begun and the wheels are in motion for a dream wedding she’ll never forget. Now comes the hard part – what should YOU wear on the big day?

Are you stressed out at the mere thought of going shopping for a mother of the bride dress?

Is this the first time in years you have tried on formal wear, and have no idea what looks good on you?

Are you confused about the color and style of dress to buy?

Do you worry you’ll have a hard time finding a dress that will flatter your midlife body?

Or, if you’ve found your dress, are you still unclear about what shoes, purse and jewelry you need to make your dress look wow?

If you wish someone could just wave a magic wand and turn you into the 'Belle of the Bridal Ball' then you need to stop worrying, and relax!

You can find the perfect mother of the bride dress and look absolutely gorgeous on your son or daughter’s wedding day, with the help of the Glam Gals at Fabulous After 40.  The Glam Gals, are image and style experts specializing in helping women 40 plus look and feel fabulous. 

Their new ebook, "Mother of the Bride" is written for women who will be attending the wedding of their daughter (or son) and have no idea what to wear.  Readers of this e-book will discover how to select the right color and style of dress and accessories to wear to any type of wedding.  The ebook is bursting with over 150 color photos including styles of  dresses that are perfect for the big day.

Boomer Beauty

Boomer women in New York's Upper East Side, Florida's Palm Beach and the Hills of Los Angeles could be collectively dubbed, dermatologically speaking, "exfoliation nation."  Because the average boomer woman there, stripped of makeup, most likely has about 300 percent less dead skin on her face than her less aging-averse middle-American counterpart.

She's probably been doing it for years---and perhaps he has, too.  Exfoliating, that is.  First, as a teenager to prevent large pores, because any girl with a pulse knows that regular facial scrubbing keeps blackheads at bay.  Later, because everybody was on some form of low-dose, time-release Retin-A acid swab.  Then in the last 10 years, it became common knowledge that without biweekly microdermabrasions you risked sporting visible wrinkles.

According to some scientists, regular dead-cell-buildup-ridding encourages cell renewal and makes your skin act younger.

Source: Beauty in the Buff, The Wall Street Journal magazine, May 2, 2009

For more about the life and times of beautiful Baby Boomers, please visit this week's Blogging Boomer Carnival #114 hosted by Wendy Spiegel at Gen Plus Reinvent 50 plus.

 

For Boomer Grandmothers on Mother's Day

Did you know that you are one of the 58% of grandparents in the U.S. who are boomers?

That's right, more than 27 million boomer grandparents are best friends with their grandkids...probably due to the fact that they both have one enemy in common. These boomer grandparents are probably living close to one or more of their grandchildren and spending as much time with them as possible.

Today, grandmotherhood is radically different from motherhood because when you become a grandmother you realize very quickly you have no control, no say in anything.  Exploring these grandmotherly emotions and experiences is the theme of a new book by 27 grandmother writers who reveal the hidden pleasures of being a grandmother.

If you are a grandparent, you have probably talked with grandparent friends who told you their stories of connecting with their grandchildren.  In past generations, it was over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house they went.  However, since our children are spread all over the country and even the world, today's grandparents mostly travel to where the children live. 

Reading about real stories from these two dozen plus grandmother authors is a great gift that every boomer grandmother would love to experience.  The new book, "eye of my heart," is a unique Mother's Day treasure for the woman who has molded you and/or your children and now is taking on the mission of becoming a cherished mentor to her grandchildren.... ....wherever they may live.

 Barbara Graham: Eye of My Heart: 27 Writers Reveal the Hidden Pleasures and Perils of Being a Grandmother

 

For more about the life and times of Baby Boomers, please visit this week's Blogging Boomer Carnival #113 hosted by Andrea Stenberg, The Baby Boomer Entrepreneur.

The Law of Love and Boomer Dating

Practicing the Law of Love ( http://www.LawofLove.com ) doesn’t work so well during boomer dating encounters.   

The Dating Goddess ( www.DatingGoddess.com ) tells us why the “golden rule” melts down in your dating communications; here is what she says:

• "You write an email to a man whose online profile is appealing. He writes back, 'Thanks, but we aren’t a match.'  You’re irritated thinking he is an insensitive jerk as you’d have preferred no response than a negative one. He acted how he’d like to be treated — telling you directly."

• "After a couple of dates with a guy, you decide you’re really not interested him. You figure it is kinder just not to return his calls and he’ll get the message, just as you prefer when a man loses interest he just stops making contact.  He thinks you’re incredibly rude to not communicate directly as he does when he’s not interested in continuing with a woman."

• "A man you’ve been dating for a few months likes to text you, even long conversations. He even texts you concerns he has about the relationship. You think it is unbelievably immature to not pick up the phone to discuss these things, or better yet to tell you in person."

The Dating Goddess states, "These examples are all of someone acting how they would want to be treated and the receiver thinks it’s totally inappropriate."