While assertiveness is focused on speaking up in a specific situation, our overall ability and willingness to communicate is influenced to a large part by our past relationship experiences, particularly those with our early caregivers. This emotional bond with another person is called an attachment.
Our early attachment relationships provide a template for future relationships. Though of course not guaranteed to dictate behavior, this template guides how we see ourselves, how much we trust others, what strategies we use to manage our emotions, and how confident we are in sharing ourselves. Our attachment style influences our comfort level and skill level when it comes to being assertive.
But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways.
People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.
Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, become avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, “The Assertiveness Guide for Women,” will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.
Women, Know Thyself: The most important knowledge is self-knowledge. (ebook and paperback editions)
Women and Time (ebook and paperback editions)
When Doing It All Won't Do: A self-coaching guide for career women. (ebook and Workbook Edition in paperback at $13.41)